4/5/06 Today With Patty ...

by Patty

My car’s GPS drove me crazy today. Anyone who has spent any time with me knows that I am directionally-challenged, and when I’m driving to an appointment, more often than not I’ll tell you over the phone to wait, because I am not where I am supposed to be. To solve this problem, my thoughtful husband bought me a GPS.

Unfortunately, this GPS has not solved anything, for several reasons:

1. To understand it, you have to have a Ph.D. in GPS.

2. It talks to me at inopportune moments and I end up not paying attention to the things I should be paying attention to, like street signs, pedestrians and other drivers.

3. It keeps repeating “Signal not found” until I feel like I will go out of my mind. Where is the &%$#@ satellite for this thing, anyway? On the other side of the planet?

4. The GPS assumes I know distances. For instance, it will tell me to turn left “in 20 yards” or “in .2 miles.” But I am measurement-challenged! I can’t judge any of the weights and measures, from pints and quarts and ounces to yards and miles! Give me a break!

I went to the N.C. Auto Dealers Association today to judge their advertising awards. This is the second year in a row I’ve done this, and this year, the association is giving its awards out in St. Thomas. I felt a disconnect being locked in a room for 5 hours at the North Raleigh Hilton, working on these awards, all the while knowing that they will eventually be given out in St. Thomas. There must be some way I can finagle a trip to St. Thomas out of this …

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