Always A Bridesmaid…Never A Bride.

by Nicole

So your college life is over, no more sorority gatherings, fraternity formals, late night mixers…oh yeah and class. You have officially entered the “real word”, which most of us have been dreading since we found out how easy college was, and stepped into the world of WEDDINGS! It is a rule of thumb, that the next 5 years of your life will be dedicated to bridal showers, bachelorettte parties and bridesmaid dresses that you will never wear again.

Going on wedding number three…for the year, I have come to find out the most important thing about being a bridesmaid is to follow proper etiquette. Lucky, being the southern belle I am, one of my first books was Emily Post’s Etiquette, which has also been a huge hit when it comes to engagement gifts, then there is absolutely no excuse for bad manners!

One of my closest friends, Omeria, is getting married in a few months and the bridal showers have begun. Just like everything else in life, there is etiquette for bridal showers – who to invite, who not to invite, when, where, and most importantly what to wear!!

Trust me ladies, if you’re going to throw a party, throw it with class!

Who can throw a Bridal Shower?
Traditionally, bridal shower etiquette says that close family members of the bride (sisters and moms) are not supposed to throw a shower for the bride. Therefore, it is up to the bridesmaids to take over the festivities.

When should a Bridal Shower be held?
Ideally, the bridal shower would be held 1-2 months before the wedding, but there is nothing wrong with it being held more in advance, provided that the bride can attend. Trust me, the bride will never turn down a reason to party with friends!

Who should be invited to the bridal shower?
The mother-of-the-bride and mother-of-the-groom should always be invited to the shower – along with the bride, of course! (As well as step-mothers on both sides.)
Sisters of the bride and groom are also generally invited to every bridal shower, but have the option of choosing to attend just one.
People who are not invited to the wedding should not be invited to the bridal shower.
Other than that, the bride and hostess should work together to come up with the guest list for the bridal shower. Numbers should be kept within the hostess’ budget (brides, be respectful of their wishes!) and hostess’ you should clearly set this limit from the beginning.
Couples showers are becoming more popular, but keep in mind that this can double the guest list.

Where should the bridal shower be held?
Really there is no bridal shower etiquette rule on this. The one exception I would make is that you should never ask people to pay for their meal at a shower, that is just plain tacky. So, if it is not in your budget to have the shower at a restaurant, no matter what the bride prefers, don’t!

Are gifts given at Bridal Showers?
Of course! This is, actually, the point of bridal showers – to “shower” the bride with gifts as a way to help her start her new life on the right foot and in good taste. If you cannot attend a bridal shower, you should still send a gift. The bride won’t forget that you remembered.

Bridal Shower Invitations:
The same rules that apply to addressing wedding invitations apply to shower invitations:
One invitation per guest (even if they live within the same household, unless 16 or under).
Hand address the invitations
Use the formal name of invitees (Mrs. Jane Smith, rather than Jane Smith)
Send invitations with at least a month of lead-time.
Include an address and phone number for guests to call for directions and to RSVP to.
You can include the bride’s registry information printed or hand-written on the invitation. Do not include the tacky cards that stores will give you to put in the invitations.

Bridal Shower Games:
Games are not a required part of a bridal shower, however, they often serve the purpose of breaking the ice with a group of people that may not all know each other. If games are not going to be played, at least begin the shower with introductions. As a side comment, if games are played prizes are generally given out.

Thank You Notes:
Thank you notes are absolutely required for each person you receive a gift from. If several people go in on a gift with one another, you must write each person a thank you. Send the “Thank Yous” within a couple of weeks of the shower. And, don’t forget an extra special thank you for the hostess of the shower.

Shower Ideas:
Recipe Mania – Ask guests to bring ingredients for one delicious group dish. The maid of honor can take notes, and when the bride sends thank-you cards, she can include the recipe as a keepsake.

Mani-Pedi Afternoon – Manicures and pedicures! Sit around with your pants rolled up and revel in the luxurious pampering while you exchange embarrassing stories about the girl of honor.

Salsa Dancing – Dancing! Have a Latin-dancing instructor come and show you some sexy salsa, merengue, or cha-cha moves. If it gets too hot, cool off with frozen margaritas.

Stock the Bar – Usually a couples shower, where guest bring items to stock the couples bar. This is also a great time for guest to try out favorite drink recipes over the course of the evening. Cheers!

Tea Party – There is nothing finer than beautiful women in beautiful hats enjoying each other’s company, very Gone With The Wind.

Best Wishes,
Nicole

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