Today With Patty – Aug. 1, 2007

by Patty

I originally thought that I was going this last weekend to Branson for the shindig, only to discover that we were really going to Table Rock Lake, and that is outside of Branson. We were staying at Stillwater Resort, also known as “I am sorry, I cannot solve your problem, nor care to understand your problem.”

Stillwater is a bunch of condos located on the lake, and we had kind of a crappy condo, so I went and asked nicely if it would be possible for us to upgrade, but they were full, which I understood. So I asked if I could go on a list in case there was a cancellation. Apparently in the history of Stillwater, there has never been a cancellation, and they told me, “I am sorry, I cannot help you with that,” which was pretty much the answer to my questions from “Can I have a couple more towels?” to directions into town. No one at Stillwater can ever help you with anything. I just assumed that since they must deal with a lot of vacationing families, they get grumpy.

I did get to go to the Super Wal-Mart several times, and that was a big deal. I have never been to a Super Wal-Mart before, and they have food and lots and lots and lots of people, all looking for giant tubs of something. I took a list of 10 zillion things, and since there were 28 of us, I too was buying great big tubs of things.

But the best part was that I was supposed to bring back goat cheese, Brie cheese, pinot grigio fresh salsa and anchovies. They did not have any of that at the Super Wal-Mart. The helpful gentleman – the Wal-Mart greeter – did point me to Velveeta, a jug of Chablis, Pace picante sauce and tuna fish, all very good and acceptable substitutes in his eyes.

The other thing that we had plenty of was kids, a whole bunch of them between the ages of 12 and 17. I would certainly not say they are spoiled, because after all they are family. However, they did get some marching orders from me in the helping department, as in unloading groceries from the Super Wal-Mart.

These kids talked me into going into – gasp! – Branson, to go into the outlet mall. Sucker that I am, it takes me an hour and 15 minutes to go about 10 miles. Why, you ask? Because every Winnebago and trailer in a 100-mile radius is going into Branson to see these people that I have never heard of, and they have their own theaters. So we went bumper to bumper until we got to the outlet mall, where there was absolutely not one parking space. I dropped the tots off so they could shop, while I proceeded to spend 25 minutes looking for parking. I finally ended up talking some guy full of packages who was going to get his car for his wife into letting me give him a ride to his car, so I can get his parking space at the other end of the mall.

I then proceeded to walk all the way back to find the children and schlep with them through the mall, and I was told that anything I liked was not cool, but I was available to pay for things. I have flashbacks to shopping with my niece Katie. I do not have to go all the way to Branson to be uncool.

After going through this agony, they did not buy one thing. So I got to drive through bumper-to-bumper traffic and drop them off at Uncle Johnny’s. They all got out, slammed the door, and no one said thank you. I am really comforted by the fact that these are the people who will be taking care of me in my old age.

Permalink |  Save on del.ico.us

Commenting is closed for this article.