Today With Patty – Aug. 8, 2007

by Patty

I came back from New York City just in time. I got out of the city before the monstrous thunderstorms hit this morning, although I have to tell you it was hot and muggy and miserable while I was there. I did manage to get to Canal Street and pick up some things, one of which was a stupid tourist item that my niece Katie wanted. Apparently it has been her dream in life to own a cigarette lighter of the Statue of Liberty. I know, I know … but she wanted it.

So with “sucker tourist” carved across my forehead, I looked for this dumb lighter, eventually found it and paid way too much for it. But at the time it did not occur to me that you cannot take a lighter on an airplane anymore, so I had to figure out how to get this lighter home in my suitcase, and without the thing accidentally going off and setting my suitcase and the plane on fire. Don’t you just hate when that happens?

I decided that I was going to tape the trigger so that it cannot light. Then I had to wrap it up and pack it and put it in a box, and I eventually got it home OK.

I stayed at the New York Athletic Club, which I love. It is right on Central Park South, convenient to everything, and just a really cool building. Of course I have a client who gets me in there, since I am not either a New Yorker nor athletic. I stayed on the 17th floor, it was two o’clock in the morning, I was no doubt snoring, and I awakened to hear someone slamming doors out in the hallway. I thought that was weird, but I did not do anything about it. Then I heard all this commotion, and someone was outside trying all the door locks, who then appeared at my door trying to get in. I decided that was not cool, and I called downstairs to the front desk to tell them what a fine idea I thought it was if they sent up security. The knucklehead at the front desk told me he was sure it was no big deal and that I should not worry.

The next morning, I had a chat with the manager about how I thought that perhaps sending security up might have been a wise decision, and he agreed with me. It turned out that apparently some guy in the room next to me had come in late, left his room for some unknown reason and could not figure out what was his room number, hence the searching of doors. It would be my guess that cocktails were involved, as this did occur at 2 a.m. So much for New York City.

Now, I promised you yesterday that I would tell you about my bone-crushing fall on Saturday night. I was at Erika and Dave Mangrum’s for dinner, and her daughter Heather had taken us outside to show us the neighborhood cat that she was attempting to adopt by feeding it. The cat came up, and I went to grab it to catch it for Heather, but instead I took a header, end over end, down about 10 steps. I smacked my temple on the corner of one of the stone steps and blacked out. I really should be dead right now, or at least a quadriplegic. Erika told me later that she really enjoyed smacking me to wake me up, as she knew she would never get an opportunity to do so again.

So today I have a lovely shiner and a huge green bruise that runs down the left side of my face. For the most part, I have been telling people it is from a bar fight, however many of them believe it is true. That is not a good thing. Then I tell them that John’s been beating me, and everyone agrees that knowing me, John is perfectly warranted in doing so. I guess I will just tell them the truth – I am a klutz.

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